Relationships Blossom as Roots are Exposed

“Without a true friend, a man cannot discern the errors of his own actions. “

Chinese Proverb

As with an iceberg, relationships that keep thoughts, feelings and grievances hidden beneath the surface, risk frequent disharmonies that undermine a person’s legitimate desire for intimacy. Without honest and full communication—such as that between true friends—relationships wither and die. The more people involved in a relationship, the more complicated and challenging their interactions.

While we are all challenged by relationships in different ways, Pathwork considers relationships the ideal way to evoke life’s tests and trials as well as offer significant opportunities for growth. 

”…relationship represents the greatest challenge for the individual, for it is only in relationship to others that unresolved problems still existing within the individual psyche are affected and activated. This is why many individuals withdraw from interaction with others. The illusion can sometimes be maintained that the problems arise from the other person when one feels disturbance only in his or her presence, and not when by oneself.” Pathwork lecture 180  

[For it is only in relationships that] Unresolved problems trigger our emotional reactions and defensive attitudes.  It is nearly impossible  to be in a close relationship and avoid countless disagreements and disharmonies. Too often we blame these problems on our mate, partner or friend. In truth, all parties play a part in any friction or discord. With a modicum of insight, we can recognize our repeated counterproductive patterns and the role we continually repeat. In the deepest sense we are all drawn into close relationships to learn the lessons they provide and ultimately develop a more intimate relationship with our self. 

 In some cultural and spiritual traditions isolation and avoidance of close human contact is seen  as a way to get closer to the Tao or Source of Life. In fact, the Pathwork considers relationships to be our fastest route to the Divine. Our deepest human relationships require physical, mental and emotional maturity; they require us to look deeply at ourselves and then challenge our beliefs and perspectives over and over again.